How to Get Married Without a Wedding | A Different Way to Tie the Knot in 2024

Step 1: Choose how you want to celebrate 

Step 2: Decide where you want to get married 

Step 3: Decide when you want to get married 

Step 4: Plan your day 

Step 5: Make it legal

There is absolutely nothing wrong with traditional weddings, but they aren’t for everyone. Truth be told, there are endless resources out there for couples planning big, traditional weddings, and that’s great! But, there’s not a lot out there for folks looking for something different. 

Sure, you could hop over to the courthouse, sign your marriage license, and be done with it. There’s absolutely no shame in that (in fact, that’s what we did). But, let us be the elopement day BFFs we wish we had!

This is your wedding day, the first day of a fresh chapter. This day is not about signing a piece of paper and checking it off your list. This day is about celebrating the story you have built together, and it deserves more – you deserve more. You deserve a wedding day that:

• Excites you
• Is rooted in intention 
• Focuses on you and your partner 
• Is based on crafting your perfect day

Meet your elopement day BFFs

After you decide that a traditional wedding isn’t for you, the possibilities of what your wedding day could look like are unlimited.

it’s important to define the vision you have for your day to keep it intentional and stress-free.

Elopements have the reputation of being quick, stress free, and a breeze to plan, and under the right circumstances that is true. However, if you don’t have a clear idea of what you want your day to look like, your experience may not be everything that you’d hoped for.

Take it from us, there is a lot of planning that goes into crafting an incredible elopement experience, BUT with the right team, planning an adventure (whatever that looks like to you) feels a hell of a lot more exciting than planning a wedding.

Check out what we offer

When you get married without a wedding, you’ll definitely spend less than you would if you were planning a traditional wedding which currently clocks in just under 30k.

We have found that our eloping couples are more interested in allocating their funds to an incredible, once in a lifetime experience…and still come in at a fraction of the cost of a traditional wedding.

Step 1: Decide on what your overall budget is for your day. Get real with your finances and decide upfront what feels like a realistic and worthy budget for the day you want to create.

Step 2: Decide on the most important elements that you want to invest in. When working with your budget, make a list of your investment priorities. This could be luxurious travel and accommodations, delicious food, adventures, attire, or documentation.

Step 3: Book your adventure elopement photographers (hiii) first. We recommend this first because as your adventure elopement photographers and elopement day BFFs, we’ll work with you to help you plan the perfect day. It can save you a lot of time and stress to book your photographers before you get super deep into the planning process.

We were recently polled by Mississippi wedding photographers on “Do you tip elopement photographers?”  Check out our response!

One of the most exciting aspects of getting married without a wedding is that you can get married in some pretty incredible places.

So, go back to your big picture and see what views and landscapes you’re most drawn to.

And don’t feel like you have to pick just one landscape or area for your day. There are so many places that have a variety of views that you can experience in a day. This is one of the big reasons we love the PNW so much! The landscapes are so diverse and the adventures are limitless. One of our fave places for couples that want to explore a lot of different landscapes is Olympic National Park. Read more about planning a “just us” Olympic National Park Wedding, and this guide on How to Elope in Washington State.

Think about the colors, sounds, and features you’re most drawn to. This can help you define your vision even further.

Check out this piece on the best places to elope

Many traditional weddings happen on a weekend so that guests can attend without worrying about work the next day.

But, when you decide to get married without a wedding, you don’t have to worry about the schedules of guests.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Q: Are there any important dates that would be meaningful to have your wedding day?

Q: How much privacy do you want? If you’d like to avoid crowds, consider getting married on a weekday

Q: Think about the weather and what you’d be comfortable with. Shoulder seasons are great for more privacy, but can have moodier weather

When you decide to get married without a wedding, you have so much freedom when it comes to your guest list, or lack thereof

Go back to your big picture exercise. When you imagined your most ideal day with your partner, was there anyone there with you, or was it just the two of you?

Interested in eloping with your fam jam? Check out this piece on eloping with family

Check out our sister company’s piece on finding an elopement wedding dress

When you decide to get married without a wedding, you are no longer bound to the traditions that come with a large wedding and that includes attire!

Go back to your big picture exercise from earlier. What were each of you wearing and how did you feel wearing it?

Questions to Ask Yourself

Q: What would feel good to wear when you get married? A sleek suit, a dress that billows in the wind, a jumpsuit that you feel badass in?

Q: What colors do you want to wear and feel most confident and celebrated in?

Q: What colors would pop and compliment the landscapes you want to explore?

Q: What footwear would you be the most comfy in during your day?

When you decide to get married without a wedding, you may want to add some extra details to build a really unique experience. This could be in the form of collaborating with other wedding vendors, or being really intentional with certain aspects of your celebration.

You know already know the drill! Go back to your big picture exercise and how you envision your perfect day.

Lodging: Where do you picture yourselves spending your downtime? Is it a cozy cabin with a hot tub? A beach house with stunning views? Or maybe its at an incredible campsite with insane views you backpack to.

Check out this guide to the best Airbnb wedding venues that could be perfect for your day.

Transportation: Do you need any special transportation for your day like a jeep, helicopter, or boat plane? There are some INSANE places to see that may require some badass ways to get there.

You can keep things as simple as you want when you get married without a wedding, or you can get creative and work with additional vendors to create a super unique and curated experiences that make you feel extra celebrated.

Florals: An aspect from traditional weddings many of our couples like to incorporate into their day are florals. A bouquet or boutonnière can add a little pop and elevate your attire. You can build your own bouquet, work with a florist, order dried florals from Etsy.

Hair + Makeup Artist: Many folks choose to hire a hair and makeup artist to elevate their experience. Most folks love their photos the most when they feel like themselves, so work with with a HAMUA that you connect well with.

Officiant: If you’d like someone to lead you through your ceremony, sign and mail in your marriage license, consider hiring an officiant.

Planner: While we help you plan many aspects of your day, recommend vendors, and build your timeline, some couples want additional support in the form of an elopement planner. You planner may even book vendors for you and help coordinate your day if you desire.

Sustenance: You want to make sure your well-nourished on your wedding day. And since you’re getting married without the wedding, your food budget is 100% all for you, so splurge a little and consider hiring a private chef or a luxury picnic service to elevate your wedding meal.

The little things: Ring boxes, vow books, announcements, custom “just eloped signs”, etc. these small details may be something you want to consider to add a lil’ something extra to your day.

Ready to plan one helluva day?

Many couples choose to have a ceremony when the choose to get married without a wedding, but because you don’t have a rule book to follow and your elopement timeline is flexible AF your ceremony can look however you want it to.

When you envision this part of your day, what resonates with you and your partner? Do you want to exchange handwritten vows, or use traditional ones?

Do you want to incorporate any meaningful readings, like your favorite poems, or songs?

Are there union ceremonies that you feel drawn to like knot tying or do you want to create something totally unique to you?

One massive perk of getting married without a wedding is that your timeline is totally structured around your most incredible day and your preferred pace.

Wedding timelines tend to follow a certain structure and tend to prioritize traditions and guest experience. Your elopement timeline on the other hand prioritizes your experience.

Looking back at the big picture brainstorming, what pace did you envision? Was it slow and chill, or would you prefer an exciting day, or a nice balance?

Remember, our biggest priority is your experience, and an elopement timeline is key to an incredible time.

Check out this in-depth Guide to building your elopement timeline

The legalities of getting married without a wedding vary in each state. As Oregon elopement photographers and Washington elopement photographers, we work predominately in the PNW and have helped many a couple get legally married without a traditional wedding.

Sam is ordained through the Universal Life Church (ULC) and has served as the officiant for any of our couples. To be legally married, many states will require that you have an officiant that is ordained through an organization that the state recognizes (most states recognize individuals ordained through ULC).

Your officiant will sign your marriage license and your state may require 2 witness signatures as well.

In general (while looking different in each state), the steps to be legally married without a wedding typically look like this:

Step 1: Apply for your marriage license (you can usually do this online) and pay the application fee (depends on the state and county).

Step 2: Pick up your marriage license or have it mailed to you (some, but not all states and counties may offer this).

Step 3: Observe the waiting period (many states have a 3 day waiting period). Some states, like Oregon, will allow you to pay an extra fee to not have to observe the waiting period, and others, like Colorado don’t have one.

Step 4: Have your ceremony and have your officiant and required number of witnesses sign your marriage license. Some states do not require an officiant or witnesses. Colorado will allow you to marry yourselves, don’t require witnesses, and don’t have a waiting period making it one of the easiest states to get married in!

Step 5: Mail your signed marriage license back in and request official copies.

Getting married without a wedding means that you have a lot more freedom in how you share your day with others.

Many couples choose to elope and have their wedding day spent focused solely on each other.

Here’s how our couples have shared their day with others, while keeping their experience private:

• Have family members write letters that they read on their elopement day.
• FaceTime important folks after their ceremony or as they get ready.
• Bring their clutch folks along and spend a day with them and the next just the two of them.
• Keep their plans secret and announce it with their beautiful photos
• Have a celebration with their friends and fam when they get back home!

We’re Sam + Kyle, your Adventure elopement photographers and elopement day BFFs.

Right after we got engaged, we began planning a traditional wedding and quickly realized it wasn’t for us.

When we canceled our plans and eloped instead, we felt like a huge weight was lifted off of us. But, adventure elopements weren’t really a thing, and we simply got our license signed at a courthouse and planned an INCREDIBLE honeymoon instead. We had no idea how incredible our day could’ve been until a few years later when we decided to go all out and renew our vows and go all out.

Backpacking to a partially frozen lake, camping under the stars, and watching the sunrise while counting waterfalls was the perfect way for us to do it big and feel so celebrated.

Hey, look! That’s us!

Read more about eloping in Montana from our fave Kalispell Montana Photographers that planned and documented our vow renewal.