Elopement Ceremony Guide | Crafting Meaningful I Do’s
7/15/2024
Let’s chat about your elopement ceremony! We’ve been where you are, opting out of the traditional wedding scene for an opportunity to have a day that feels more intimate, more meaningful, a little wild, a little more… you.
We love that kind of attitude and we want to cheer you on, because we remember how freeing that felt. We also remember how it felt to figure out the details of crafting a memorable and intentional wedding day on our own, without the traditional structure.
So, in this guide, we’re diving deep into the art of crafting a meaningful elopement ceremony in the hopes that you feel confident where we didn’t.
Here’s What We’ll Cover:
- Elopement ceremony examples
Think of an elopement ceremony as the anchor of your day. You and your partner are choosing to come together in a meaningful way, create your most ideal day, and make an incredible commitment to each other.
This piece of your day is the reason you’re here, so we’ll make sure you’re feeling stoked about it.
Meet your photographers
Hey there!
We’re Sam + Kyle, a married photography duo, based in the Pacific Northwest, that specialize in documenting intentional elopements in wild spaces.
We’ve been where you are and know that while eloping is incredibly freeing, it comes with its own challenges. Good thing you found us!
We’re here to make the planning process chill and want it to feel more like you’re just planning an incredible adventure where you just-so-happen to get married.
What does an elopement ceremony look like?
When you shift away from tradition, you have an opportunity to create a ceremony that is incredibly unique and genuinely reflects you and your partner.
With an elopement ceremony, you could opt to shed or keep the endless wedding traditions that are commonly seen. This totally depends on your priorities, and what resonates with you.
The possibilities are endless.
Here are some questions to ask yourselves:
- What elements of nature or culture resonate with us as a couple?
- How can we infuse our personalities into our ceremony?
- What rituals or gestures hold special meaning for us?
Elopement Ceremony Examples
While your ceremony can look like whatever you want, it can also be super helpful to have some structured examples to reference.
There are a couple of different options here, as elopements themselves all look so different.
We’ll focus on some examples for couples that aren’t including anyone in their day and examples for those of you that are bringing along a few guests!
Elopement ceremony with just the two of you
Option #1 Self-Solemnizing Ceremony
This is perfect for couples who want their day to feel completely private. A self-solemnizing ceremony is where you basically just marry yourselves! You don’t need an officiant or witnesses to sign off on your ceremony for it to be legally legit.
However, it’s only legal in a handful of states including California and Colorado. While this may be bummy news for couples eloping elsewhere, don’t sweat it! Sam is ordained and Kyle is happy to sign as a witness for ya!
Example Flow:
- Aisle first look (totally optional and we’ll break the logistics down in a min.)
- Partner 1 reads vows
- Partner 2 reads vows
- Exchange rings when you’re ready
- Kiss
Option #2 Hire an officiant
Maybe, you’d like more structure and guidance for your elopement ceremony. This is when an officiant could be a great addition to your elopement day team!
There are some truly incredible officiants that are down to adventure with you. Hiring an officiant will help you create a fully customized and personalized ceremony, then guide you through.
Example Flow:
- Aisle first look (totally optional and we’ll break the logistics down in a min.)
- A reading to set the tone
- Stories and anecdotes
- Personal vows
- Traditional ceremony option (like hand fasting or a Quaich)
- I do’s
- Ring exchange
- Pronouncement
- Kiss
Option #3 Hybrid Ceremony
For couples that fall between wanting the privacy of a self-solemnizing ceremony and also want some structure, we offer a lil’ hybrid option!
This is a big benefit to having an adventure elopement photographer team, as Kyle will take the lead on documenting the ceremony as Sam steps in and out while shooting second.
We have this flow pretty dialed in and work with our couples to make sure it feels just right.
Example flow:
*For the duration of the ceremony, Sam stands to the side so she’s not cheesing in the middle of your ceremony.
- Sam sets the tone with a reading
- Partner 1 shares vows
- Partner 2 shares vows
- Sam steps in for I do’s
- Rings
- kiss
- Pronouncement
An elopement ceremony with guests
If you have your crew joining you for your elopement ceremony, you’ll either want to hire an officiant, or work with a friend/family member to create and lead your ceremony.
You can opt to share your personal vows during your guest ceremony, or share them privately during a different part of your day.
If this resonates with you, here’s where we’d recommend either exchanging your personal vows:
- After your first look
- After you get ready together
- After your guests depart, or as you’re exploring after your ceremony
Private vows + ceremony
This is a great option for couples that are bringing their crew with them to celebrate and witness their day, but also want to keep their personal vows private.
Example Flow:
- Exchange vows privately
- Optional aisle walk
- A reading to set the tone
- Stories and anecdotes
- Personal vows
- Traditional ceremony option (like hand fasting or a Quaich)
- I do’s
- Ring exchange
- Pronouncement
- Kiss
Do you need an officiant for an adventure elopement ceremony?
In most states, you do need an ordained individual to perform your ceremony and sign your marriage license.
However, you have a few options here and we’ll obvi be breaking them down for ya!
#1 Hire an officiant
#2 Ask your photographer to sign (if they’re ordained)
#3 Ask a family member or friend to get ordained and serve as your officiant
How to become ordained
Getting ordained is super easy and free! In fact, it’s so easy that you may question if it’s legit, but it absolutely is.
To become ordained to perform a ceremony for a friend or family member you can go through the Universal Life Church and enter your information.
Those ordained through the ULC are recognized in most (but not all) states. You’ll want to triple check that the state you’ll be performing the ceremony in recognizes officiants through this channel.
What to do during your elopement ceremony
During your elopement ceremony, you can totally follow the basic flows that we’ve outlined above, but we’d also encourage you to consider adding in elements that are unique to you.
Questions to ask yourselves:
- What are we most looking forward to about our elopement ceremony?
- How do we envision looking back on this day in the years to come?
- Are there any special readings, vows, or rituals we want to include in our elopement ceremony?
- What values and beliefs do we want to emphasize during our ceremony?
- Are there any cultural traditions or rituals that hold significance for us?
- How can we adapt traditional rituals to reflect our personal beliefs and values?
- What symbolism resonates with us as a couple, and how can we incorporate it into our ceremony?
Transitioning into your elopement ceremony
We know this is a minor detail, but we get asked about this all the time! When you get married without a wedding . You leave behind a lot of the traditional flows and structure that can help things feel seamless. However, you can still have that easy flow with your elopement ceremony and avoid things feeling clunky.
Beginning your elopement ceremony when it’s just the two of ya
With a first look
- Decide on the spot
- Change into wedding attire (privately)
- Have your first look
- begin
Without a first look
- Walk together
- find the perfect spot
- Take some deep breaths and begin
Beginning your elopement ceremony with guests
With an aisle first look
- Decide on the spot and figure out your “entrance” logistics beforehand (your photog will help with this)
- Coordinate your timeline so that you arrive roughly 10-15 minutes after your guests
- Have someone communicate with you for go time (usually us lol)
Without an aisle first look
- Walk together
- find the perfect spot
- Take some deep breaths and begin
After your elopement ceremony
Ahhhh!! You’ve just finished your ceremony, and have been pronounced married!!
So…now what?
If you have guests joining you, this is the perfect time to let ’em love on you! Group hugs, pop some bubbly, and cheers together.
Just the two of ya? Celebrate with a first dance, share a bubbly beverage, or read letters from fam and friends!
We also recommend that you carve out a few minutes to be completely alone to soak it all in.
Key Elements of an Elopement Ceremony
For couples that want some structure to their elopement ceremony, or have a friend/family member officiating, seeing the components of a ceremony can be incredibly helpful as you craft this piece of your day.
To be super clear, this is all here to help. None of these elements HAVE to be in your ceremony if it doesn’t feel right.
If the perfect ceremony for your day looks like walking into the wild and exchanging vows, that is absolutely perfect and incredibly meaningful. We LOVE to see it!
This info is for those that are looking to incorporate traditional elements into their elopement ceremony.
The Welcome
This gets the ceremony started and sets the tone. Is this needed for an elopement? absolutely not!
Sometimes, this looks like us asking if you’re ready, or you finding the perfect spot and taking a deep breath. If it’s just the two of you, this serves to ground the moment and get you in a good headspace.
A reading is also a great way to accomplish this if it is just the two of you and you have a poem, excerpt, or any piece of writing that feels meaningful to your relationship.
The vows
This is the juicy part! This is when you tell each other all the wonderful things, the depths of your love, and the vows you’ll make to honor your commitment to this new chapter.
Writing your own vows is truly SOOO special and we super recommend that you consider adding this to your ceremony.
Remember, if you have guests joining you, but you want this to be private, you can absolutely exchange these privately.
The I do’s
This can be done after your personal vows if you’d like to have them. Again, totally not necessary.
Your vows can also serve to mark this moment, but many folks like the idea of having this in their ceremony.
If you’re incorporating a hand-fasting into your ceremony, I (Sam) typically arrange that to during this portion of the ceremony, so your hands are free for rings (the next part).
The Rings
This is where you’ll slip on those sweet lil’ bands to remind you of the vows you’ve made on this day.
A quick tip: Go nice and slow here so you can really anchor into this moment and soak it up. The ceremony flies by because the stoke level is HIGH, so don’t be afraid to slow things down.
Pronouncement
If you have an officiant, this is where they pronounce you married AF and you share your first kiss as married folk!
With elopements, where there is no officiant or structured ceremony, couples typically kiss and embrace. After letting you bask in that “just married glow”, we’ll celebrate alongside ya!
How Long is an Elopement Ceremony?
Unsurprisingly, this totally depends on you and your vision for your elopement ceremony.
Typically, an elopement ceremony is anywhere between 10 minutes to half an hour.
Of course, yours can absolutely be longer, or shorter depending on what you’d like to include.
Unique Elopement Ceremony Ideas
As adventure elopement photographers, we’ve had the absolute honor of witnessing some incredibly unique and meaningful elopement ceremonies.
If you’re looking for some ideas to create your own ceremony, or start a new tradition, we’ve got some ideas for ya!
If you two aren’t religious, or you don’t have any traditions that you feel particularly connected to, your elopement ceremony can still be super meaningful and representative of your story.
- Light a fire: this symbolizes warmth, light, and the beginning of a new chapter together. Consider lighting a fire together either as the focal point for your ceremony and vows, or a place to reflect after your ceremony. As always, prioritize LNT by burning your fire in designated areas and putting it completely out after.
- Weave music into your elopement ceremony: Use music to set the tone for your elopement ceremony. This can help evoke emotions and memories. Put together (and download) an entire playlist for your elopement day and bring along a blue-tooth speaker. Choose songs that hold a special meaning for you and play it throughout your day. Use it to set the tone for your ceremony and dance to it after! We did this and listen to our wedding playlist every anniversary!
- Read poetry: Choose a poem that reflects your story, values, or love towards each other. Take turns reading your chosen poems to each other, or have a guest read if they are joining you.
- Readings from books or text that hold significant meaning: In the same vein, many couples, books or certain passages are woven into their love story. Choosing to read a selection during your ceremony can add depth and personality.
- Hand fasting Ceremony: Hand fasting is a Celtic ritual where the couple’s hands are bound together with cords, symbolizing their union and commitment to each other. Couples who resonate with incorporating this into their ceremony, have made their own cords and used them as they exchange vows.
- Bottle smashing (Don’t forget to LNT): Breaking the bottle symbolizes the end of a couples single lives and the the beginning of their life as married. Wrap it up in a bag before you smash the bottle to ensure you’re following LNT!
- Lighting a unity candle: For many couples, this symbolizes the merging of two lives into one. Each partner lights their own candle. Then, they light a larger candle together.
- Blending sand:This symbolizes the merging of two individuals into one union. Each partner pours sand into a single vessel.
- Gather round: If you have a small number of guests joining you, everyone gathers in a circle and shares thoughts about the couple, wisdom, or kind words. If you’re eloping without guests, have your closest friends and fam write letters for you to read to each other during or directly after your ceremony.
- Incorporate or create new rituals: This can be anything that holds personal significance to you. This could look like exchanging thoughtful gifts or creating a time capsule to open on your anniversary.
- Do something creative together: create a piece of pottery, a painting, a song, a poem, whatever feels meaningful to you!
Elopement Ceremony Templates & Resources
Our goal is that you feel super confident and stoked while you’re planning your elopement. Of course, a meaningful elopement ceremony is part of that process!
Hopefully, you’re feeling inspired and ready to put pen to paper! But, if not, allow us to offer some support!
There are so many resources out there for couples looking to craft unique elopement ceremonies for their day. Here are a few for you to check out!
Provenance: This program is awesome to help break down each section of a ceremony, offer prompts, questions, and helpful tips.
Owl and Rose Ceremonies: Lovely elopement and solemnizing ceremony scripts that you can use as is, or alter to make make it completely unique.
Another one ties the knot: Excellent vow writing guide and officiant consultation, which is perfect if you have a friend/family member officiating for the first time.
What to discuss before your elopement ceremony
If it is just the two of you, having an idea of how you want to move through this piece of your day, and going over it before-hand can remove a ton of pressure.
- Who goes first? Talk about this ahead of time and determine who will be sharing their personal vows first! Of course, you can always decide in the moment, or rock/paper/scissors over it.
- How long will your personal vows be? Get on the same page about how much each of you are writing so that this portion feels well-balanced.
- Give yourselves a due date. Writing your personal vows can feel a little intimidating (we’ve been there), and this can lead to waiting until the last minute to write ’em. Allow us to suggest a due date! Make it about a week or two before your wedding so you have plenty of buffer time. You can also carve out time on your elopement day to read over them.
What to bring to your elopement ceremony
Your elopement ceremony can obvi be as simple, or as intricate as you want. It’s all about your personal vibe.
However, there are some key things we want you to consider as you plan to make sure your elopement ceremony is everything you’re dreamin’ of AND runs smoothly.
#1 Your Marriage license: Don’t forget to bring your paperwork!
You’ll need to bring your marriage license for your officiant to sign so that things are legal.
Marriage laws and licenses vary in each state, so check in and make sure you have everything ya need!
#2 Your permit: In areas where a special use permit is required (like in many state and national parks), you’ll want to have a copy of your permit with you.
#3 Vows: Be sure to pack your personal vows! We very much recommend physically writing your vows down. You can write them in a vow book, in your sketch pad, scrolls, or sheet music, whatever resonates with you the most!
#4 Rings or tokens: If you are exchanging rings, or tokens in place of rings, be sure to bring them. It can be helpful to keep these in a ring box that stands out.
#5 Decorations: While adventure elopements often take place in natural settings that require minimal decoration, you may still want to add some personal touches to enhance the ambiance where allowed. Consider items like flowers, a rug, or decorative elements that reflect your style and personalities as a couple. 10000% check and make sure that whatever decorations you envision comply with the park rules and comply with Leave No Trace!
Tips for writing personal vows for your elopement ceremony
We deeply encourage you to incorporate personal vows into your elopement ceremony! This is a ceremony element that can really make your day so unique and meaningful.
We remember writing (and re-writing) our vows to each other, and what a daunting task it can feel like to pour your heart on a page in a succinct and coherent way. Trust us, we get it!
But, with an elopement ceremony, you have the freedom to share your deepest feelings, your favorite memories, your promises for the future with just your partner able to hear them. You have the freedom to let your emotions flow without insecurity. This moment is powerful.
Here are some tips to help you Write Meaningful Vows:
- Start with a voice memo! If it’s difficult for you to just start writing, try processing verbally first. Record yourself on your phone, and as you’re listening to your recording start writing a messy rough draft.
- Decide on how long your vows will be. Both of you can create a rough draft and read it to yourself while timing. This can help make sure you’re both writing about the same amount!
- Balance your vows. It can be easy to turn your vows into a beautiful profession of love for your partner (after all, they’re pretty amazing), but do make sure you get some actual vows or promises in there as well!
- Start with reflecting on your relationship. Think about your relationship and the journey you’ve shared from the very beginning. Consider the moments that have brought you closer as a couple, and qualities that you admire in your partner. What are the moments that have shaped your love?
- Consider the values, beliefs, and promises that are important to you and your partner. What do you admire and appreciate most about each other? What commitments do you want to make to each other as you embark on this next chapter of your lives together?
- Keep it authentic to you. Don’t worry about trying to sound poetic or eloquent. Instead, focus on communicating your love and commitment even if it comes out a little messy.
- Don’t let your ceremony be the first time you say them outloud. If you struggle with anxiety, this can help you quell any nerves you may have. For many folks, emotions can run high, even on the chillest of elopement days. This can be a great tool to help you stay grounded.
Some Final Thought on Your Elopement Ceremony
As you plan your day and each element, take some time to curate your ceremony by infusing intention into it.
This is the moment the two of you will stand in an ancient, sacred place, and promise to witness each other fully, love each other deeply, and reflect on the moments that brought you to this patch of earth.
That’s the magic of an elopement ceremony—it’s an intentional affirmation of your love and commitment, free from the constraints of tradition and expectation.
We can’t wait to witness it.
Let’s Chat about your elopement day
more elopement inspo
- Olympic National Park Wedding Guide: For couples considering an elopement or intimate wedding in the most diverse national park in Washington. This is the spot for you if you want to explore rainforests, moody beaches, snow-capped mountains.
- Oregon Coast Elopement Guide: The Oregon coast is absolutely magical. This guide is for couples considering an elopement on our fave coastline.
- Mount Rainier Elopement Guide: An in-depth guide to eloping in one of the most iconic national parks in the PNW. Perfect for couples that know they want to elope in Washington.
- Elopement vs Wedding and how to decide which is right for you: For couples that want to get married without a wedding, but are still torn.
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